lying on my bed at 11 AM , staring at the stars hanging from my ceiling. thinking about life.

They just hang there, slowly spinning from almost imperceptible drafts. As I stare at them, still half-asleep and groggy, it is hard not to think about life.

I couldn't tell what I was thinking at that moment- whether I was happy or sad, frustrated or confused. It was just one of those strange moments of total contentment, ones that seem so simple and unassuming, until your life gets hard again.

Like the moments where you fish around in your bowl of pho for more meat, savory smells all around you. Like the moments where you cruise around Costco eating free cheese and sausage. Like the moments where you rock out to Party in the USA while eating dried mangoes. Facebook conversations about Harry Potter, slacking off during sit ups in PE and lying in the sun. It's the moments that sneak by you with barely a sound that resonate the most.

It's Daylight Savings and it's difficult not to look upon that one hour that seemingly slipped from our lives. The moment the clock struck 12, was it 1 AM? Was that one hour that should have been there, suddenly gone forever?

Time is ticking, and I hope I can make the most of it.

Note: I realize that this blog was supposed to address our awkward moments in life and such and it's quickly become a place to vent all my emo feelings. LIFE IS TOO BUSY TO BE AWKWARD RIGHT NOW!! *sigh

My Hero!

(first post of 2010! we fail at keeping this alive)

Have you ever learned something about someone that changes the entire scope of your friendship? Thinking you've known them, but suddenly it's as if a coin has been flipped, and your world, from head to tails? This isn't one of those petty "Why didn't you tell me" or "Thanks for leaving me out of the loop" moments. It's one of those "I am truly in awe of the person that you are"moments.

It's almost as if this hurricane has been raging in your life, me right alongside it, only I didn't feel a thing. Though you probably went through winds and rain, I stood by unscathed and unbothered. It still feels as if it's something that happens in those intense books and overly dramatic soaps, and not something that happens to your best friend. That you were that one unfortunate statistic in the bunch, the one we never think about. How did you survive it all? My heart breaks for what you've had to go through alone.

Now I see that God has truly been at work in your life. Though you undoubtedly leave this scarred, all I see is purity in you, no blemishes, no damage on your soul. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, you've come out of this a better, and more beautiful person. I always thought of you as someone who cared unconditionally for her friends, often to sacrifice paid on your part. I remember every single time I had felt the slightest bit upset or annoyed at the world, and you always made me love it again. You share my joy, and my sadness, my flaws and mistakes.... And I can never repay you for how much you've done for me.

Life will probably go on as normal, as you said it should. I'll still joke with you and laugh with you and win arguments with you (heheh). I'll still watch Friends and tacky reality TV shows with you. I'll still risk making pasta and French toast with you. But I'll always think of you as more than just a good friend (not in that way, perv). You are wonderful, and you truly give me hope.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31